


Faithless Series

by beigybabylizzy



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Adulthood, Angst, Angst and Drama, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst and Tragedy, Cheating, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/F, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Infidelity, Married Couple, Married Life, Romance, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:22:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27588086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beigybabylizzy/pseuds/beigybabylizzy
Summary: Sana's faithless love will either ruin Tzuyu, or ruin herself.This is SaTzu Faithless Series.
Relationships: Chaeyoung/Dahyun/Jeongyeon/Jihyo/Mina/Momo/Nayeon/Sana/Tzuyu (TWICE), Chou Tzuyu/Minatozaki Sana, Chou Tzuyu/Minatozaki Sana/Myoui Mina, Chou Tzuyu/Myoui Mina, Hirai Momo/Minatozaki Sana/Myoui Mina, Hirai Momo/Myoui Mina, Minatozaki Sana/Myoui Mina
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This story is strictly not for readers under 18 years of age. Subscribing to this story proves that you are above 18 years old.
> 
> Trigger Warning : This story is composed of words not pleasing to the ears, sex (not explicit, only mentioned), potential character death, suicide, and other nesh subjects that might upset the readers.
> 
> Disclaimer: Some places, names, events, and personalities of the characters in this story does not represents the idols and places in real life. Things related to reality mentioned in the story is highly coincidental. This is purely made with the author's imagination. 
> 
> DO NOT COPY. Forgery is a crime.

What does it feel like to be betrayed by the person you loved the most? 

You feel... anger?

Sadness?

Or, both?

You feel like your whole world crumbled? 

Your heart torn into two?

In marriage, the persons involve must avoid commiting a sin – the sin of betrayal.

And Sana? Just commited that sin, and Tzuyu was yet to know the truth.


	2. Unfaithful

** Minatozaki Sana  **

**I have everything I want.** Everything - a car, a beautiful 2 storey house in a good neighbourhood, owning a company, and most of all a beautiful and loving wife. What more can I ask for? 

Of all the things I asked and wished? My wife is the best blessing and gift. She’s beautiful, smart, kind, and sweet – I’m satisfied with her alone. Take everything else, just not her. 

That’s what I used to think (and believe) before temptation attacked me. 

While my beautiful wife is at home taking care of our household and cooking meals for me, while she does her job as an author, I lavish myself gaining the attention of a girl who replaced the woman I married. 

I tapped the table of a girl assigned right next to the office of the vice president. “You should take a break,” I said, with a grin. I would always give her this smile of mine – to give off a warm and innocent look. 

The girl looked up and bowed her head to give respect. “Miss Sana,” she replied, “I’m not done with work.” 

I glanced at the clock, then averted my thoughts back to her. “Working overtime? Didn’t you tell me yesterday you will go home early, Mina?” 

“Well, he gave me another batch of paperwork so I—” 

“Go on. Go fix your things and leave your work—I’ll do it.” I took my phone, “I do not allow this kind of unfair act in my company.” 

Myoui Mina – the secretary of the vice president of my company, and the girl whom I fell for. I want her to work as my own, but I don’t want the other workers to suspect that I have my eyes on her. I just, how do I put this, want the best for her. 

I try to show my affection to Mina the best way I can – in small little ways as much as I can. Mina doesn’t know I have a wife, not a single bit, and I try to keep it that way. Maybe, until I can confirm she and I felt the same way to each other. 

I know it sounds stupid, but I don’t want us to have a distance from each other. 

She makes me happy in ways I cannot really further explain. Seeing her smile every morning I go to work lifts up my mood; when it’s time to go home and I see her, it makes my day; her laugh is like a happy pill; and her touch… her touch is full of emotion. 

I love my wife, but I… I fell for Mina as well. 

I opened the door of our house. I loosened my hair that was tied in a pony tail. Then I saw my wife’s head sprung out of the kitchen counter. 

“Welcome home, Sana.” My wife greeted. 

“I’m home,” I gave her a hug and a kiss on her forehead, “Tzuyu.” 

“I cooked dinner for you. I waited for you to come home so I didn’t—” 

I released a sigh. “Tzuyu, I’m sorry. I’m tired from work and I still need to work on things the vice president failed to do.” I saw my wife’s face drop down into dismay, but she chose to hide it behind a smile. “Honey, why don’t you eat dinner without me? I promise, if I got hungry later, I will eat what you made, okay? Oh, and please have it prepared as my lunch tomorrow.” 

“Sure thing, honey.” 

I kissed Tzuyu’s forehead once more. “You’re the best. I love you, Tzuyu.” 

“I love you more, Sana.” My wife gave me a hug, surprising me. Her hug was tight like I felt she doesn’t want to let go. “ _I love you a lot_.” 

_I’m so sorry, Tzuyu._

I cannot just tell my wife that I went out to dinner with another woman. I cannot tell her that I am only using work as an excuse to spend time with Mina. 

I know what I am doing is a sin and breaking the vows I had with my wife in front of the altar – an act of betrayal. However, I cannot help but fall in love with Mina. Tzuyu… she used to give off the vibe I got from Mina but greater. Ever since I got this company, ever since I got what I want, Tzuyu changed. She’s no longer the wife I used to know. 

_But I love_ _Tzuyu_ _. I don’t want to lose her; I don’t want to lose my wife._

I went to my office room in the house and started working on the extra work the vice president gave to Mina. Then I received a message from Mina saying her thanks. Instead of working, I spent my night talking with her. 

It feels surreal. It’s like I’m back being a high school kid who just had her first spoonful of lovestruck syndrome or something. 

From texting, my conversation with Mina turned to calls. 

“Shouldn’t you be resting right now, Mina?” I asked, while multitasking – after all, I took the responsibility to cover her work that is scheduled tomorrow. 

“I cannot sleep. I’m still reading a book.” Mina replied. 

“I never knew you’re a bookworm. What kind of book are you reading?” 

“I personally love horror and thriller books, but the one I am reading right now is a drama-romance made by my favourite author.” She replied. “Do you read books, Miss Sana? If yes, what kind of book?” 

I answered, “Oh, I don’t have time to read books, Mina. Say, who is your favourite author?” 

“Oh, it’s Chou Tzuyu.” I hands stopped moving on the keyboard when I heard her answer. “I’m currently reading her current book “Abyss”. There’s a book two but I couldn’t buy a copy since it’s a limited edition (it comes with meet and greet tickets), and it is yet to be released. However, I wasn’t able to catch up with the pre-order so it’s pretty much sold out. Do you know about this book, Miss Sana? You gotta be, it’s a famous book! They said the second book is much greater!”   
I stammered, “O-O-Oh. I-I… s-see.” I felt my hands shake. I cleared my throat and continued, “I-I do know about the book. I just… I just don’t read it.” My chair turned to the shelf behind my table and my eyes landed on the anniversary gift my wife gave me a few weeks ago – a book entitled as “Abyss: The Fall” written by my very own wife: Chou Tzuyu, a draft version though but it was hard bound. 

A knock was heard. I ended my call with Mina and continued to work. “The door is open,” I said. The door opened and my wife came in with a mug. I can smell the coffee that she brewed from where she stood to where I sat. I saw the time on my computer, then I faced her, “Honey, it’s 1 AM. Shouldn’t you be asleep?” 

Tzuyu placed the mug on my table before standing behind my office chair and gave my shoulders a massage. Of course, it made me happy since my wife is taking care of me and I can still feel her warm affection. 

My wife answered, “I’m still finishing my book.” 

“The one you gave me on our wedding anniversary?” I asked. 

“Yes. I need to finish it ASAP this week.” Her hands wrapped around me. “Hey, Sana…” 

“Hmm?” 

“Did you read my book?” I stopped typing. The moment she heard the sound of the keys tapping stopped, she got her answer. “Of course, you’re too busy to read it.” 

_Not that I am busy I was… I was with Mina —my attention is on her._ I cannot tell her that though. 

I turned my chair to face her, “Honey, I am sorry. I will make it up to you.” I kissed her hands. “I always do.” I pulled her close to me and gave her a kiss, and another, and another. 

What happened next is what usual married couples do. 

When did I began to cheat on my wife – the woman who poured all her time, her attention, and her love to me? It was when she decided to become a writer. Before, when we were still back-to-back partners in the company (me as the president and her being my vice president), we both have time for ourselves – assisting each other like we always do. However, she wrote a book that was originally a past-time for her – a story inspired by our love story which became a hit to everyone. Then she made another (inspired by our married life), and then she decided to become a writer instead of working in the company. Of course, I give what my wife wants so I let her be. 

Then Mina came in the picture when Tzuyu and I no longer have the time we used to spend together. That time, those moments, were all with Mina. Then Mina replaced my wife, but I still love Tzuyu. 

I opened my eyes. I turned my head to my wife (her back against me), and I heard her low snivels. 

_Is she crying?_

Her crying alarmed me. I woke her up by calling her name whilst shaking her bare body that was only covered by our blanket. “Tzuyu? Tzuyu. Honey, wake up.” I spoke. 

Tzuyu gasped and sat up. “S-Sana…” she muttered. She faced me. I was confused, and of course she knows that. She suddenly gave me a tight hug – so tight I can barely breathe. Our bare skin touched that I can feel her quivering. “Sana. Sana. Sana.” My wife just repeated my name over and over while crying. 

“Honey, what’s wrong?” 

Tzuyu faced me, her face full of her tears. “I-I… I had a dream.” She took a deep breath and exhaled. “You… y-you left me, Sana. You… you left me with someone else… I-I… Sana, I… my heart… it hurts. I’m scared…” 

That very moment, my consciousness attacked me. Then I felt pain and regret – pain because I see my wife suffer like this, and regret because the dream of hers is half true and I couldn’t tell her. 

_I couldn’t tell Tzuyu about Mina._

Weeks and a month have passed. Recently, Mina and I barely meet or have time to converse. Whenever we talk, she would excuse herself since a call will disturb us, sometimes whenever we’re on the phone or when we’re texting, she would end the conversation because someone else will talk to her. It’s natural for her since she’s a secretary, but I can barely grab time with her which saddens me. 

I entered the office with a grin on my face. I have an invitation sealed in red wax with an _T_ marking on it – made by my own wife. It’s a meet and greet ticket of my wife’s book launching of this very month, I asked her to give me a ticket and she gave me one, I didn’t tell her that I plan to give it to Mina. I remembered how much she wanted the book and meet the author so I took the chance. 

I know it’s stupid that I will have my legal wife and the girl I fell in love meet in my wife’s very own event. I just can’t help but give Mina what she wants. If I see her happy, it makes me happy. 

I saw Mina on her table. Her smile reaches up to her ears and the vibe she gives off was all colours and rainbows. I tapped on the surface, “Someone’s in a good mood.” 

“Really? Am I that obvious?” 

“Uhuh. Anyway, I have a gift for you which _might_ add more to that smile of yours.” I showed her the envelope. “I got an exclusive meet and greet ticket of your favourite author.” 

“Oh.” The mood changed. “Uhm, actually, Miss Sana… I already have one.” She showed me an envelope with the same seal and type of paper. “A friend gave it to me this morning.” 

“I had no idea you… are friends with someone who has a connection.” I lowered my hand. “Well, I don’t want this to go to waste so… you can invite someone you know who wants to go to the event, okay?” 

Mina bowed her head, “I really am sorry, Miss Sana. Also, thank you. You shouldn’t have though. I mean, I am just an employee.” 

“It’s fine, Mina. You are not just an employee to me Mina. I—” Mina tilted her head slightly with a questionable look, “—I’m your friend. You’re… you’re a friend to me, Mina.” She smiled. “Say, how about you join me for dinner later? You know… your way of showing thanks.” 

“About that… I actually have plans with a friend.” 

“Oh. Then the day after tomorrow?” 

“Still with the friend.” 

I furrowed my eyebrows, yet with a smile. “Hmm, I’m kinda getting angry at this _friend_ of yours, Mina. This person is taking my time with you.” 

Mina nervously laughed. “I’ll tell you when I'll be free.” 

“Gotcha.” 

Later that night, I finished my work early. I closed the door of my office and was about to leave when I saw Mina still at her table. 

_I thought she has a rendezvous?_ I asked myself. 

“Hey,” I called. She raised her head, “I thought you have plans?” 

I sensed something doesn’t feel right. The vibe she gives off is far different from before – it's more serious, heavy, and distressing. 

She replied, “It’s cancelled.” She forced a smile. “Something came up.” 

I furrowed my eyebrows. “Did that person bail on you?” My voice was low but you can feel my anger with those six words alone. 

Mina laughed and shook her head with her hands, “No! No, no, no.” She stopped. “It’s actually me who bailed. I mean, like… I gave my friend time to be alone for now so I decided to have our plans move some other day. Something _huge_ came up and I still have pending work so…” 

Silence. 

I decided to break the silence, “If you don’t have any more plans, my offer still stands?” 

Mina and I went to a French restaurant after she accepted my offer. I know my wife cooked dinner for me at home, but I just can't help but want to spend supper with Mina. 

Mina and I talked, although it was me who talked the most. She was oddly quiet – unlike the Mina who would share her day to me whenever we talk. Of course, she speaks and gives off the vibe I know as time passes by. 

“So, when is this meet and greet event?” I asked, changing the subject that would interest her. I don’t really care about my stories, nor telling her about me – I just I want to know hers. 

Mina answered, “A week from now, Miss Minatozaki.” She replied. I saw the joy in her eyes, “I really can’t wait to meet her already! She’s my favourite.” 

_She called me in honorifics? Huh. Weird._

“You’re really a fan, huh? I only know her books but never really indulge myself. Although I read two of her books though.” I said, drinking my white wine. 

“Oh? I thought you don’t read her books?” 

“I said I didn’t read the Abyss thingy.” 

“What were the title of the books you read by Chou Tzuyu.” 

“Well, I read “Joy” and the second book she released which is “Bliss”. The first book is perhaps the best book she wrote. It’s just my opinion.” 

“Oh, I read those two, Miss Minatozaki! Of all the books she made a throughout the years, Joy, Bliss, and the Abyss are my favourite work of hers.” She took a deep breath and sighed. “They say Joy and Bliss were inspired by the story of her and her wife.” 

I chuckled. “Yeah, my w—” I paused. _Dammit! I almost said it._ I cleared my throat and continued, “My workmate told me that. The books were inspired by her marriage. Joy was her debut, since then she became big, which is also the reason why she published Bliss.” 

“Dang. Her wife is very lucky.” 

I giggled. “Yeah. Very. Blessed if I were to put it.” I finished my plate and focused on my glass. “So, tell me about this Abyss book. I have no time to read it.” 

“Really? Well, Abyss is about two mortals named Loyalty and Faith—they are married. The story revolved around Faith's unfaithfulness to his wife (Loyalty), who fell in love to an angel named Grace.” Mina rested her chin on her hand that was supported by her elbow on the table. “I don’t wanna go through the big details since it will spoil you. Anyway, Loyalty found out about Faith’s betrayal, and the story ends there. The second book tells what happened next.” 

“What?! That’s it?! Goddamn. That is one major ass cliffhanger!” I exclaimed. With just the short explanation alone, I was move by the story. “Damn, I forgot how good my wife made her stories…” I mumbled. 

Silence. We are currently having our dessert. I ordered a bowl of ice cream while Mina ordered a crepe. 

“Miss Minatozaki—” 

I interrupted her, “I’m sorry but I already told you to call me Sana, Mina. I don’t mind the Miss Sana though, I just… look we are friends so cut the honorifics.” 

“Sorry. Anyway, _Sana_ ,” I took a spoon of my ice cream, “ _how’s your wife?_ ” and I stopped. 

My head abruptly faced her. Mina was smiling when I met her eyes, then her attention went to her crepe. I want to ask how she knew, but that would only be proof that I indeed (in fact) hid the truth from her. 

“She’s… she’s fine.” I answered. “I’m sorry. For not telling you, Mina.” 

“Why are you saying sorry to me? You don’t have to say sorry to me. I don’t like prying.” She took a bite of her dessert and swallowed it. “I heard from the workers about your wife from that moment I began to work in the company. She used to be a vice president but then left the company. I don’t know what happened to her next since I don’t want to pry. Also, you ring paved the way you know?” 

“I see. It’s true that she _was_ the vice president of the company.” I released a sigh. I rubbed the wedding ring on my ring finger with my free hand, “You know? Me and my wife are partners in almost everything. It felt… weird and strange when she… you know… changed paths.” 

“Do you _love_ your wife?” 

I paused for a few seconds before answering. “Of course. Of course.” I took a deep breath and sighed. “I love my wife. I really… do.” 

I drove Mina to her place after dinner. The whole ride was quiet, it wasn’t awkward though, just quiet. I want to break the silence and talk more with her but I somewhat can't bring myself to speak. 

Mina knows I have a wife. I don’t know what to do. I love Tzuyu, I also love Mina. I don’t want to lose Tzuyu, but I also want to be with Mina. My wife obviously won’t like it if I tell her about the bullshit I’ve been doing behind her back. I don’t want to her cry again like the last time I saw her – it seriously breaks my heart as her spouse. 

“You know…” Mina spoke, “They say in the second book of Abyss (Abyss: The Fall), Loyalty died.” 

“That’s the ending?” 

“Maybe? Who knows? Only the publisher, editor, and the author know the ending.” Mina answered. “Sad isn’t it? To have such ending. So, I hope the author can reach the hearts of Faith-like partners out there.” 

I parked the car in front of her place. We stayed in the car, waiting one of us to speak. 

Mina spoke at the end, “Love your wife fully, Mrs. Minatozaki. You are… _blessed_ to have her in your life.” She bowed her head. “Thank you for inviting me to dinner and for driving me home.” She opened the door and went out. 

I followed outside. “Mina, wait.” I went beside her. “Look, Mina, I have something to tell you. I know this will sound crazy but trust me I am really serious about this so hear me out first. Mina, I tried to control it but I just can't. At the end I—” 

Mina held my hands. “Thank you, Mrs. Minatozaki. For everything, _for your affection_ , but I am sorry.” Hearing her apologizing, it felt like I swallowed a big rock. “I can’t. I don’t want to get involve with your marriage. I don’t want to ruin _your_ marriage. That is why I try myself no to get involve so much with you.” 

“Mina, hear me out please. She won’t know, my wife won’t—” 

Mina gave me a white envelope. “My resignation letter.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “I quit, Mrs. Minatozaki. I can’t… I don’t want to hurt _your wife_. Please, fix your marriage. If you don’t? Your marriage will become like Faith’s and Loyalty’s.” 

_Delusional and a fool. That’s what I am._ I clenched the letter in my hands. _Here I thought she will allow me to love her despite having a wife. Damn you, Sana. You are a fucking idiot! What happened to you?!_

“Also,” Mina gave me an apologetic smile, “I’m… in love with someone else, Mrs. Minatozaki. It’s not an excuse—I’m really in love with someone else. I hope that fact will help you forget about me and focus more on your wife. Thank you again. I’m sorry and goodnight.” 

I mindlessly drove back home. I felt… sad. It's like more weight added to my shoulders. Half of my happiness can only be found in Mina, with her gone… I don’t know. 

“Maybe this is God’s way to wake me the hell up from my shit ass wrongdoings to my wife.” I said to myself. “Yeah. Maybe. In this way, I wouldn’t see Tzuyu cry again. This way, she will have no reason to cry. If I will continue this, she will find out sooner or later and I… I will break her heart.” 

I parked my car at the garage area. When I got out of the car, I noticed the house is somewhat dark – not all of the lights are on. 

“Did Tzuyu went to bed first without waiting for me? It’s unlikely of her to sleep ahead of me. She would always wait for me no matter what the time is.” 

I entered the house. It’s quiet and cold (even though the heater is on). I went to the kitchen and saw no one, not even a packed food left for me, I even checked the refrigerator but none. 

“Honey? I’m home.” I shouted. “Tzuyu? Are you home?” I looked at the backyard but she wasn’t there; the sofa – none; the laundry area – none; our room – none. I even checked the walk-in closet just in case but she wasn’t there. I took out my phone and dialled her number. I heard it ring in my office. 

_Why is she in my office?_

I entered the room. I dropped the call when I saw Tzuyu standing in front of the shelf behind my table. My wife just stood there not saying anything. 

“Honey, this is where you are.” I took off my blazer. “I’m sorry that I’m late. I sent an employee home. You know me, I don’t leave employees behind.” Of course, I lied – again. “Did you have dinner? I noticed you didn’t cook for tonight.” 

“Sana…” I heard her mumble. 

“Hmm? You said something, honey?” Tzuyu slowly turned her body to face me. Then I saw what I feared the most – my wife’s crying face. She looked like she’d been crying the whole day yet her tears won’t stop. It alarmed me so I took a step and asked, “Honey! What happened?!” 

Before I can take another step to get close to her, she stopped me. “Don’t you dare fucking come close!” She shouted. I can feel her anger towards me, then followed by pain, “Don’t… don’t… come near me…” 

Fear rose up to my body. “T-Tzuyu, honey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying? Tell me. I’m worried for you.” I didn’t lie, I really am worried for her. She’s still my wife, the woman I married, the woman I love. “Honey, tell me. It’s hard to see you like this.” 

Tzuyu gave off a mild aura at first, but then she became hostile as if I said something wrong. “It’s… hard to see me like this? It’s hard to see me like this?! What bullshit is that, Sana?!” 

I took a step, “Honey—” 

Tzuyu threw a book from my shelf towards me. “Don’t fucking take one more step, Minatozaki Sana!” She continued to sob. “You have the… you have… you…” she couldn’t finish her sentence of all the sobs she made. “You… you said it’s hard for you to see me like this? See me crying like this? If you really thought about that then why the fuck did you cheat, Sana!” Tzuyu screamed. Her scream was full of bitterness that even I can taste the disgusting flavour of her anguish in my mouth – I want to puke, it’s fucking intolerable. 

_She found out?_

_“_ C-Cheat?” 

Tzuyu took the keyboard of my iMac and threw it at me. “How long will you treat me as a fool, Sana?! How long?! I knew. Yes. I knew about you cheating on me with one of the employees in the company! You fucking… you… how dare you cheat on me!” Her voice cracked while shouting. I care less on how many objects she threw at me; I just want to hug my wife and calm her down before she hurts herself. “How long will you see and treat me as a fucking fool, Minatozaki Sana!” 

“L-Let me explain, Tzuyu!” 

“Explain? Or you want me to fucking hear your excuses?!” Tzuyu lifted my table and turned it upside down – breaking whatever is on top. My wife may look weak in person, but she has strength of a bull. “I did what I can to be the wife that will make us both satisfied! We were happy, Sana—we were happy! We have everything! What happened?!” 

“I… I don’t know…” It felt like I just swallowed knives that pierced throat my throat to my lungs. “No! No. That’s not what I meant. I… I’m sorry, Tzuyu. I… don’t know how to answer. I don’t know where to start.” 

“You don’t know where to start? Start but answering why the fuck did you cheat?! Tell me, Sana! What made you unfaithful, since I know that the employee you’ve been prying on is also a victim of your foolishness!” Tzuyu pushed the shelf down which made everything to fall. “Is it me? It’s me, right? I’m the problem here. What—you are tired fucking with me so you want someone else? Have I been a bad wife to you? Did I lack anything? Am I a fucking burden? I don’t make time for you? I don’t take care of you unlike before? Come on! Answer me! Tell me that it’s my fucking fault, just give me fucking answers because I am… _I am confused and clueless as to what made you think you can fucking crush my heart and soul like this?!_ ” 

“This is my fault!” I shouted. “It’s my fault. I admit it is mine. I know I did something that ruined your trust. I will confess. I will confess just please, please, calm down, Tzuyu.” Tzuyu tried to calm herself down but her tears just won’t stop. I began, “I… I fell in love with someone else other that you, I spent more of my time with her than you, but I never touched her nor thought of anything vile. Nothing happened between us, honey. Trust me on this one. I just… I just love her, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you? I love you Tzuyu.” I walked slowly as I answer – hoping it will distract her. “I love you, Tzuyu. I really, really, love you. I love you. However, something… something changed.” 

“You expect me… to believe that?” Tzuyu covered her eyes with her hands and sobbed again, “We vowed… we vowed on our wedding day. We fucking celebrated our 4 years marriage months ago and this is what I will find out?! Since when have you been cheating on me!” She faced me with scorn painted on her face, “ _You_ solemnly _vowed_ through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, to love and to hold, _even temptation cometh_ , till death do us part _you_ will remain _faithful_ to me—to us. You vowed, Sana! You fucking vowed!” 

I couldn’t even make an excuse. _Goddammit_. 

“You made me the happiest girl in the world—blessed. I have everything, we have everything, Tzuyu. We were _partners_ , you have my back and I have yours. Then… you became a writer, everything changed since then. You were gone—the woman I married disappeared, but that didn’t make me not love you. I… I saw the woman I married in someone else, the woman I called as my partner—I saw it in someone else. I’m sorry. I just… I don’t know what gotten into me and fell in love with another because I missed the person who can never be back.” 

“You,” Tzuyu tried to keep her composure, but I can feel her rage, “you decided to cheat on me because you saw _me_ in that innocent girl? Sana, did you even look at yourself? Did you take a moment and thought about _maybe it isn’t my wife but me_ kind of shit? That is the lamest excuse and reason I’ve ever heard! Fuck you!” 

“I… didn’t. I’m selfish…” 

“I am _indeed_ your partner. I don’t want to invalidate our professions because I know both of our works are not a joke. We are both tired every fucking day, Sana—every fucking day! Whenever you go home after a tiring day at work and you continue that shit in your office, I would always check on you to see if you fell asleep because you tend to do so almost every fucking day! While you slept, I work on your responsibilities—that happens most of the time. I, too, am tired, Sana, but I am your wife—and as your wife, I am your partner in life! I help take care of everything so that it will be easy for the both of us, but you… you—” Tzuyu released a scream. I finally reached her and have her in my arms, “Why… didn’t you tell me what you were feeling this whole time? We could’ve fixed it—goddammit! Why didn’t you just kill me, Sana? Why didn’t you just fucking kill me?! You chose… you chose to do this instead…” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. She’s gone, she’s no longer in my life, Tzuyu. Let’s start over, let’s begin again please. I don’t… I really don’t like to see you cry—it’s torturing me. Please, honey, I love you.” 

Tzuyu pushed me. “You don’t like to see me cry but you are hurting me this way?” She bit her lip to stop from bawling again, but her eyes won’t stop – she cried again. “ _You love me yet you chose to crush me…?_ ” 

“Tzuyu…” She threw a long envelope at my chest. “What is this?” 

Tzuyu took a deep breath. She looked calm and her tears stopped, but I can still sense the overwhelming distress and her strong, violent anger. “I had the papers prepared when I had my suspicion.” 

I opened the envelope and what I read shocked me. “N-No! No! No, Tzuyu, please! Our vows! Our vows, Tzuyu. Let’s start over again!” This time, I am the one is pathetically shouting. “I don’t want to lose you…” 

“ _I loved you._ I can’t continue this marriage, Sana. I want a divorce.” She took a deep breath. A tear rolled down from her eyes. She turned her back and walked away. 

“Don’t leave… please…” was the only thing I said. I couldn’t even move my body to run after her. “Tzuyu…” 

[To be continued: Disloyalty] 


	3. Disloyalty

** Chou Tzuyu **   


** 4 years ago, I was married to my best friend – my partner – after another 4 years of being together. ** 8 years, Sana and I were together for almost 8 years. 

I can still remember walking down the aisle inside the church in Paris. I wore a beautiful white wedding dress with a bouquet of red flowers on hand, while my father walked beside me. Sana is in front – crying while watching me walk towards her. She looked divine in a white wedding gown; I cannot help but cry as well. 

_ I was getting married to my best friend and lover. _

I remember the look of her eyes while she said her vows to me – full of passion and sincerity. I can still remember how tight she held my hands back then, and how glossy her eyes were. “I solemnly vow,” she said, “through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, to love and to hold,  _ even temptation cometh _ , till death do us part  _ I  _ will remain  _ faithful _ to you—my wife, my partner,  _ my Tzuyu _ .” 

Most of all, I can still perfectly remember the warm and passionate feeling of our kiss as we sealed our vows – declaring our marriage in front of our friends and family. 

However, after 4 years, I found out  _ my wife is cheating on me. _

I (we) have everything I (we) want – a good house in a good neighbourhood, a car, a rising company, fame, money, and of course, my beautiful wife: Sana. God can take everything He fucking wants from me, but not Sana – Jesus, no, not her, anyone and anything but my beloved wife. 

When did it start? A year ago? I don’t know. A month ago? Probably. I have no idea because I was busy taking care of my wife, our household, our company, and my job. I am busy taking care of our lives while she… she betrays me. 

I cannot confront her yet. I have no evidence. Maybe I was just being paranoid? Maybe I was just overthinking? Maybe I am just misunderstanding things? I should not, and must not doubt my wife – but she’s giving me the reason to do so. 

I work as a writer. I used to work beside Sana as the vice president of the company, however, I had my calling – to be a writer. I changed paths. In a span of a year, I wrote more than 10 books, but 4 books are the highlight of my career:  _ Joy _ ,  _ Bliss _ ,  _ Abyss _ , and  _ Abyss: The Fall _ .  _ Joy _ is inspired by the before-marriage life of me and Sana, while  _ Bliss _ is the inspired by our love story – our marriage. Writing  _ Joy _ was supposed to be a past-time, but when I published it, and the book gained worldwide attention, I just had to continue and see if it will last – and it did. After writing  _ Bliss _ , everything fell into place – I was made for this, this is my real profession. 

Since then, as the company and my work go up and shine under the spotlight, our marriage was slowly sinking down to an abyss. 

I heard our garage gate open – indicating my  _ wife _ is home after a tiring day from work. Since I only stay at home and write my books, I mostly do the housework to at least assist my wife. 

My head sprung out of the kitchen counter. I saw my wife in her business attire and her hair loose. 

_ Oh God. I really love her. She never fails to make me fall in love with her over and over again. How can she be so beautiful? _

“Welcome home, Sana.” I greeted. 

“I’m home,” Sana hugged me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. Before, her kisses brought an electrical flow throughout my body, now… it’s just nothing. “Tzuyu.” 

“I cooked dinner for you. I waited for you to come home so I didn’t—” 

Sana released a sigh. “Tzuyu, I’m sorry. I’m tired from work and I still need to work on things the vice president failed to do.” As much as I want to hide it, I just can’t help but feel disappointed. I tried to hide my emotions behind my smile thought – I don’t want to add more to my wife’s problems. “Honey, why don’t you eat dinner without me? I promise, if I got hungry later, I will eat what you made, okay? Oh, and please have it prepared as my lunch tomorrow.” 

_ She must have eaten dinner with the person she's cheating me with. _

I wanted to cry on front of her but I fought off the feeling. I answered, “Sure thing, honey.” 

She kissed my forehead once more. “You’re the best. I love you, Tzuyu.” 

Hearing her say that, it breaks my heart. I am confused – does she even mean those words? I don’t want to lose Sana; I don’t want to lose my wife. 

“I love you more, Sana.” I hugged her – tight. I don’t want to let her go, I can’t. She’s my wife, we vowed – I don’t want to lose her. “ _ I love you a lot. _ ” 

Sana went to her office while I stayed in the dining room alone. I stared at my food – Sana’s favourite. Sana doesn’t like to go out and eat so I would always cook her favourites. We rarely go out, we only do if it’s a formal party, our birthdays and anniversary, or if we need to celebrate. 

I felt a drop of water on my hand. “H-Huh?” I questioned. Another drop followed, and another, then it continued. I touched my face and I felt my tears rolling down simultaneously. 

At the end, I cried. I’ve been crying almost every day since I have my suspicions that Sana is cheating on me. I know my wife; I know every single detail about her so I would know something changed. 

“Sana…” I sobbed. I tried to keep my cries low – I don’t want Sana to know. I am not ready to confront her yet until I gathered enough evidence about her stupidity. 

I had my suspicions when she would stay in her office most of the time, when her early leave from work turned a night-stay (or sometimes late), when her touch was never the same. Those small details triggered my suspicion and fear. 

_ A wife’s instinct never fails. _

I went back to writing my book after dinner. I am in our room, typing on my laptop. I am writing the second book of my story – a story about a married couple and the power of temptation that will drive the spouse to cheat. 

“Oh, right.” I stopped. “I gave Sana an alternate ending.” My heart ached again. Before, Sana would always read my stories, especially the first two books I published, but she stopped afterwards. Abyss and its second book are the story of my wife cheating on me – however the second book’s ending remains to be blank since I am still writing it. 

I gave Sana the copy of the second book with an open ending. If my wife read it, she would be storming towards me and ask me questions about it since it connects with her betrayal – but she didn’t, meaning she never read it. I didn’t ask her about it too, thinking she must be busy with work – or maybe her mistress. 

I glanced at the clock – it’s almost 1 AM. I decided to brew a cup of coffee for my wife who’s probably still working in the office room. 

I want to know the girl my wife fell in love with, I want to know what she has that I don’t, I want to know why my wife decided to cheat on me – why she decided to become unfaithful. I hired a private investigator yet he only told me my wife is just the way she was – a kind and loving president of the company who thinks of her employees first. I couldn’t find the girl whom my wife fell in love with. 

“She hides her bullshit well…” I muttered. 

Knowing Sana, she does her job well – clean, detailed, simple. She would hide her woman well too. I know the way Sana flirts: out of kindness. She would always flirt through kind gestures – that’s how she got me. 

I stood right in front of my wife’s office door. Before I can knock, I heard her voice storming inside –  _ she is talking with someone _ . I pressed my ears on the door and listened attentively. 

‘O-O-Oh. I-I… s-see.’ I heard my wife stammered. “I-I do know about the book. I just… I just don’t read it.” 

I knocked on the door. “The door is open,” Sana said. I opened the door and I saw my wife working behind her working table. Recently, she’s working a lot unlike before. Sana does her job well and fast – no matter how many pending works there are she would always finish them back in the office. Now? She’s working a lot. Could she probably be taking the work of her mistress? “Honey, it’s 1 AM. Shouldn’t you be asleep?” She asked me. 

I placed the mug on her table before standing behind her office chair and gave her shoulders a massage. I answered, “I’m still finishing my book.” 

“The one you gave me on our wedding anniversary?” 

“Yes. I need to finish it ASAP this week.” I wrapped my arms around her. “Sana…” 

“Hmm?” 

“Did you read my book?” I heard the tapping of the keyboard keys stopped _. I was right. She never read it _ . I bit my lip, trying not to cry. I continued, “Of course, you’re too busy to read it.” 

Sana turned her chair to face me, “Honey, I am sorry. I will make it up to you.” She kissed my hands, and it triggered the heat to rise in me. “I always do.” She pulled me close to give me a kiss. Another kiss followed, and another, and another. Then the next thing I knew was that she carried me to our room and things escalated quickly. 

I gave Sana what she wanted, and she gave me what I wanted. She respects me, and I respect her. So, I can’t help but wonder (ask): What went wrong? Why is my wife cheating on me? 

Whenever we make love, I will always make sure she will feel my love and affection to assure her that I always love her and I will always be by her side. 

I couldn’t feel the same way from her. I just feel… emptiness. Our nights will always be warm, but ever since I had my suspicion, it went cold and empty. 

That night, I had a dream. Sana left me with a girl. She looked at me dead in the eyes and just… left. I tried to reach her hand to grasp it, but the more I ran, the more I try to reach out, the farther they go. 

“Tzuyu? Tzuyu. Honey, wake up.” 

I gasped and sat up. "S-Sana…" I mumbled. I immediately looked for her and I saw the confusion on her face. Then I gave her a tight hug – I know that she wouldn’t be able to breathe well but I just can’t help but embrace her – fearing that if I loosen my grip, she will fade away. I kept repeating my wife’s name over and over while crying. 

“Honey, what’s wrong?” 

“I-I… I had a dream.” I took a deep breath and exhaled. “You… y-you left me, Sana. You were… you left me with someone else… I-I… Sana, I… my heart… it hurts. I’m scared…” 

I want to know if Sana is really cheating on me. I want to know why she is cheating on me. I want answers. God, I just want answers! 

When Sana fell asleep after assuring me, I got up from bed and went to her working table in the office of our house. I saw that she still hasn’t finished her work, so I finished it instead. 

I am Sana’s partner – I assist her. I know my wife, once she is tired, she cannot do work anymore – that is where I enter the picture. This isn’t the first time I worked on Sana’s job; I do this all the time ever since I became a writer. Sana’s clueless about my assistance though, but it’s fine. As long as her work is going smoothly, I’ll be fine with that. 

Sana went to work while I stayed at home. When I opened the fridge, I saw that we are running out of storage, thus, I decided to go out and buy at the grocery store. 

I am at fault for not confronting my wife – I just… I am scared to hear her answer. I am not ready to hear her answer. I am not ready for the truth. However, at the same time, I yearn for the truth, I yearn for answers. 

After buying groceries, I went to a café nearby to grab a cup of coffee. I sat on the chair located right beside the window. I watched the people who passed by – young and old, alone or with their partners. I needed time to think – I needed the time alone. 

_ But being alone with your thoughts could be dangerous _ . 

I couldn’t help but cry. I just can’t stop my tears the moment I try to think about Sana and about my suspicions. No matter how many times I pray for answers, seek for answers, the answers won’t come. 

“The innocent Loyalty saw Faith.” My tears stopped. I turned my head to my right and saw a girl cleaning the table. “Faith couldn’t believe what he is seeing—the woman he loved is staring blankly at him yet her tears continued to shed from the eyes he once loved.” Her hair is long and curled that’s tied into two-ears. She wore a white long-sleeve with the sleeve’s folded up to her elbows, and she wore an apron, and a pencil-skirt. 

_ She’s… quoting my book? She memorizes the book? _

__ I continued alongside her, “Faith’s disloyalty was discovered. Only then he realized the importance of his beloved, and the gift that God has given to him: his wife—his Loyalty.” 

The girl turned her head to me. “Oh my god, you know Abyss too?” She then noticed my tears. “Oh my, are you alright?” 

I blinked twice and looked away. It’s humiliating that someone had to see my face full of tears. I wiped my tears away, but then they kept flowing. 

The girl didn’t pry and left me alone, although it felt like she wanted to reach out to me. 

After a few minutes, a plate was placed on my table – a strawberry cheesecake with a strawberry on top of a thick whipped cream and a note made in syrup on the plate that said “Smile”. I looked up and saw the girl again. 

“I didn’t…” I trailed off. 

The girl shook her head, “It’s on the house.” 

“Thank you. But you don’t have—” 

“My favourite author once said during an interview that the best way to lift up the mood of a sad person is to give them a slice of cake and tell them to smile.” She chuckled. “Well, I don’t know if she only said that to end the interview or maybe she is only referring to herself. Anyway, our cheesecake is good, so I hope it will somewhat lift up your mood.” 

I took a bite of the cake. For some reason, I felt heat slowly burn out the emptiness and the cold in my chest. I took another bite, and another, and another, while crying. I don’t care if I look like a fool, right now, I just want… I just want to feel something else other than the pain, the emptiness, the cold, and the confusion. 

The girl then gave me a glass of water and her handkerchief after I ate. “Thank you,” I glanced at her name tag, “ _ Mina _ .” 

After that incident, I kept coming to the café and have a taste of the cheesecake. It was like magic, or a curse. I just feel… warm whenever I go there and have a taste of their food. My mood changes when I see Mina as well. 

Mina and I befriended each other. She is working in a company as a secretary of the vice president. I didn’t pry on her type of work because I obviously don’t care. The café is owned by her family and she helps run the business by serving the customers during her day offs and during the weekends. 

I didn’t tell Mina that I am the author of the book she loves – I cannot tell her that I am Chou Tzuyu who made Abyss. Of course, it’s for privacy purposes. She was happy that I have the same name as her favourite author too. 

We spent time together, we talk with each other, we exchanged numbers and social media accounts. We event talk about my book. I found another inspiration to finish it. 

After a month and a few weeks, our friendship grew stronger and she placed my trust on me. Me? I don’t know if I can trust her yet. 

“Momo would always be there for me.” Mina said. “She is my best friend. However, I don’t know how to give her my answer to her confession.” 

“So, you are having troubles whether you should reject her or not?” I asked. We are currently in her place, watching Netflix while eating dinner. She opened up to me about her best friend, Momo, who confessed to her and is pursuing her for two weeks now. “Are you scared to ruin your friendship?” 

“No. I’m scared the next thing that will happen to us if I say yes.” She took a drink from her glass. “Or no.” 

“By the end of the day, Mina, you need to give her an answer.” I finished my food. “People would do anything… just to find answers…” 

A knock on the door was heard. I went to see the visitor – it’s Momo. “T’was right that you’re here again, Tzuyu.” 

“What can I do? I’m our darling’s best friend.” I spoke. 

Mina and Momo talked while I wash the dishes. I overheard them talk about the next upcoming meet and greet event of mine. 

“Sorry, Mina. I didn’t get to avail a ticket.” Momo said. 

“It’s fine, Momo. It’s a limited time only, anyway.” Mina sighed. “I missed her meet and greet last month, and I will miss it this month again. That would only mean it’s not meant for me to meet my favourite author.” 

Minal’s phone rang. She excused herself, which left me and Momo alone. 

“You make me jealous.” Momo said. “It was only me and Mina before you entered the picture.” I suddenly felt scared. I don’t want to be the  _ third-party – _ may it be in friendship, a romantic relationship, or in marriage. “But ever since you came? She just won’t stop smiling. She’s so stressed with her work, and dealing with her boss’s ass, but you just make her smile, ya’know?” 

“Is her boss giving her a hard time?” I asked. 

“Not exactly. In fact, her boss is taking all her work.” Momo’s answer brought me the chills. I don’t know why, but I felt anxious. “However, her boss is treating her different from the others. She told me that her boss does the same thing to the other employees, but… how do I put this… it’s different—the way her boss treats her is different. I told Mina her boss might be hitting on her, and she thought the same thing. I mean, girls’ instinct is far more active than boys.” 

“Where is Mina working again?” 

“She’s working as a secretary of the vice president in—” 

Before Momo can answer, Mina came back – interrupting her. “I have work tomorrow!” Mina groaned. “I don’t want to go! Can I just spend my days with you two?” 

I chuckled. “No. You need to go to work.” My phone buzzed. I saw a notification that came from my wife. She said she’s coming home. “Dammit!” I shouted, standing up. 

“Something wrong, Tzuyu?” Momo asked. 

“I forgot my wife is coming home early today!” I grabbed my bag. 

“You… have a wife?” Mina asked. 

_ Oh shit! I forgot to tell Mina that I’m married. It literally passed my mind! I got to engrossed with our time together. _

_ “ _ What? You have no idea?” Momo said. “You didn’t notice the ring on her finger?” 

Mina forced a laugh. “I was just kidding, Momo.” Mina faced me – she looked sad. “You should go ahead now, Tzuyu. I’ll be fine since Momo is here with me. Go tend your wife.” 

“Thank you, Mina. Also, I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Bye!” 

I got home just in time for me to prepare dinner for Sana. I prepared a quick meal for her catch up with time. I don’t want to disappoint Sana for not preparing her dinner. 

Sana arrived. “God how I miss your cooking!” She exclaimed, sitting on a chair and began eating. “My wife really makes the best food in the world!” 

I kissed Sana’s lips. “Uhuh. Start eating first and flirt with me later.” I went to the sink and began to wash the used utensils. 

“Is it wrong for me to compliment my beautiful wife?” 

Instead of answering, I just laughed. The thought of finding my wife’s mistress is still in my head. I couldn’t bring myself to believe my wife anymore. 

“By the way, honey, you’re working on your meet and greet invitations, right?” Sana asked. 

“Yes.” 

“Can I possibly get an invitation?” I stopped my hands. “A client is a fan of yours. I thought about maybe giving her an invitation as a gift.” 

I clenched my fist. At that moment, I really want to call her out. I want to shout at her and ask her about her disloyalty. I love my wife – I loved my wife, but all l I have at this moment is rage, pain, and pity. 

“Sure… honey.” I spoke. 

Sana wrapped her arms around my waste and kissed the back of my neck. “Thank you, honey. _ I love you so much. _ ” 

The next day, I went to the café early in the morning while my wife is still asleep. Before leaving, I prepared breakfast for her and left her the invitation that she would probably give to her mistress. 

I know Mina won’t be at the café but I just need to go – I need a place where I can run away to. 

“How can you love me yet betray me, Sana?” I bit my lip. I stared outside the window of the café. “Just how…?” 

“Care for a cheesecake?” A girl spoke. I looked up and saw Mina – in a formal attire. “You’re sad again, Tzuyu.” She sat in front of me. 

“Why are you here? Don’t you have work?” I asked. 

Mina nodded her head, “I have but I just felt like coming here first (plus I left my lunch in the kitchen).” She paused. There was a minute of silence before she continued, “Are you here because you felt, I don’t know, sad? Is it because of your wife?” 

Just then, I cried – my body shaking, my tears flowing nonstop. 

I told Mina about my wife. I finally gave her my trust. She didn’t say anything while I spoke – she's just there, listening. I told her about my wife’s disloyalty, but didn’t mention her name – I cannot ruin Sana’s image despite her cheating on me. 

“It sounds like Abyss.” Mina said. 

I chuckled. “It is Abyss.” 

“Excuse me?” 

I wiped my tears away. I smiled, “Thank you, I feel better now, Mina.” I took the invitation in my bag and gave it to her. “I’m inviting you to my event.” 

“What the hell?!” 

It’s nice to see Mina smile – it lifts up my mood. She’s such a good friend. However, no one can beat Sana’s smile. No one can beat my wife. 

I told Mina everything, and obviously she was overwhelmed after knowing that I am the author of the book she loves. 

“How about we go have dinner later? Then tomorrow I’ll take you to the publishing house?” I said. 

“Sure!” 

Unfortunately, Mina needs to go back to the company she works to. I went home after talking with her – I don’t feel sad anymore. 

_ But life’s a bitch… _

__ My private investigator called. “Mrs. Minatozaki?” He spoke. 

“Yes? Any news about my wife?” 

“Confirmed, ma’am. Your wife entered the office this morning. She gave the invitation to a secretary.” 

My heart thumped. “S-secretary?” 

“Yes. However, the secretary declined her offer since the girl already have one.” I heard the shifting of paper in the background. “After a thorough investigation, I finally got the answer you’ve been waiting for, Mrs. Minatozaki.” 

“Who is it…” I clenched my fist. “Who is the bitch?” 

“Uh. I am not in the position to say this but… she’s innocent—the girl is innocent. Your wife didn’t mention about her being married, ma’am.” 

“Who is it!” 

A huge boulder fell on my shoulders when I heard his answer, “ _ Myoui Mina _ , ma’am. The secretary of the Vice President.” 

_ My whole world… turned upside-down. _

__ I ended the call and immediately called Momo to ask about Mina’s nature of work. My heart raced loudly to the point it felt like it will jump out of my chest. Momo’s answer further confirmed the private investigator’s report. She answered the name of the company that me and my wife owns. “M-Momo…” I stammered. "M-Mina… Mina is the person… she’s the one my wife is in love with…” 

“Excuse me, what?” 

I ended the call. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think straight. I am angry, I am sad, I am in pain, I am confused. All this time, all this damn time, I am with the girl whom my wife fell for. 

I clenched my abdomen with my arms while my other hand covered my mouth to stop myself from screaming. I collapsed on the ground – leaning my back on the cold wall, “Why… why does it have… to be Mina?” 

I spent my morning crying. I didn’t eat nor did my job, I just cried and questioned everything. 

My phone kept ringing but I didn’t bother answering. It’s mostly from Momo – probably trying to ask for clarification after blurting out about my wife’s stupidity. 

Lunch came. Momo kept calling but I ignore her. After series of calls, it ended. However, after a minute or two another call came but it’s from Mina. I don’t want to talk to anyone, but Mina – I want to talk with her. However, she’s the girl my wife fell for. Why would I talk to her? She’s— 

“—innocent…” I wiped my tears away. “Mina’s a victim. She’s… not at fault… but...” 

I answered the call. “Tzuyu?” I heard her voice. Hearing her voice, I broke down in tears. “You’re crying again.” 

“Why… why does it… why does it have to be you… Mina?” I asked, failing to control myself. 

_ Stupid of me. Asking her about something she’s clueless about. _

__ “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Tzuyu. Momo called me saying I need to talk to you. She’s worried, and I’m worried too.” 

I couldn’t control myself anymore. I lost it, and shouted, “Why does it have to be my wife, Mina?!” She didn’t speak. “My wife… fell in love… to a damn secretary. My Sana… my partner, my best friend… fell in love… with you…” 

“M-Miss Sana…Miss Sana is your…wife? You’re Miss Sana’s… wife?” 

“Mina… don’t take Sana away from me…please…” I released a painful cry. “Why does it have to be you?!” 

I heard Mina cry from the other line. “I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Tzuyu. I had no idea she’s your wife. Please trust me if I tell you I am not in love with her. Please…” 

“She’s…my wife…” 

“I’m so sorry, Tzuyu. I had no idea.” Mina’s voice shook, “P-please…forgive me…” 

I ended the call. 

_ Oh God, why does it have to be Mina? Of all the people, why does it have to be her? _

__ I waited for Sana to come home in the evening. I waited in her office. I just stared at the book I gave her. With this discovery, I can finally end the story. 

“End?” I took the book from the shelf and held it tight. “How the fuck can I write these events…” I sobbed again. 

I heard my wife’s voice downstairs. I had no idea it was evening already. Then my phone rang – I didn’t answer it. The door opened and my wife entered. 

“Tzuyu, this is where you are. I’m sorry that I’m late. I sent an employee home. You know me, I don’t leave employees behind. Did you have dinner? I noticed you didn’t cook for tonight.” 

My heart ached. “Sana…” 

“Hmm? You said something, honey?” I turned my body to face her. I saw the fear on her face, “Honey! What happened?!” 

Before she can take another step to get close to me, I stopped her. “Don’t you dare fucking come close!” I shouted. “Don’t… don’t… come near me…” 

Sana kept mouthing words which further pained me. I can no longer listen to her, I am not even sure if she is still the wife I married, if she is still the Sana I loved. I can no longer believe her. 

“Don’t fucking take one more step, Minatozaki Sana! You have the… you have… you…” I couldn’t continue – my chest is aching. “You… you said it’s hard for you to see me like this? See me crying like this? If you really thought about that then why the fuck did you cheat, Sana!” 

_ “ _ C-Cheat?” 

I threw the iMac keyboard at her. Right now, I just want to hurt her, I want her out of my life, I want her to disappear. 

“How long will you treat me as a fool?! How long?! I knew. Yes. I knew about you cheating on me with one of the employees in the company! You fucking… you… how dare you cheat on me!” My voice cracked, but I care less. I just want to let these emotions out of my chest. “How long will you see and treat me as a fucking fool, Minatozaki Sana!” 

“L-Let me explain, Tzuyu.” 

“Explain? Or you want me to fucking hear your excuses?!” I lifted the table to turned it upside down – not caring about the equipment on top. “I did what I can to be the wife that will make us both satisfied! We were happy, Sana—we were happy! We have everything! What happened?!” 

“I… I don’t know. No! No. That’s not what I meant. I… I’m sorry, Tzuyu. I… don’t know how to answer.” 

“You don’t know how to answer? Start but answering why the fuck did you cheat?! Tell me, Sana! What made you unfaithful, since I know that the employee you’ve been prying on is also a victim of your foolishness!” My mind is confused. Deep in my head I want to hurt Sana, I want her to suffer; however, my heart is contradicting with my thoughts. 

I pulled the shelf down which caused a mess. “Is it me? It’s me, right? I’m the problem here. What—you are tired fucking with me so you want someone else? Have I been a bad wife to you? Did I lack anything? Am I a fucking burden? I don’t make time for you? I don’t take care of you unlike before? Come on! Answer me! Tell me that it’s my fucking fault, just give me fucking answers because I am…  _ I am confused and clueless as to what made you think you can fucking crush my heart and soul like this?! _ " 

Sana spoke, but I couldn’t hear most of her words because my emotions got most of me. My wife, my partner and best friend, had the audacity to do all of this. Sana continued, "I just… I just love her, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you? I love you. I love you, Tzuyu. I really, really, love you. I love you. However, something… something changed.” 

Hearing Sana said that she loved me, my heart shattered into pieces. I am tired of crying, but my tears just won’t stop. I covered my eyes and continued, “We vowed. We vowed on our wedding day. We fucking celebrated our 4 years marriage a month ago and this is what I will find out?! Since when have you been cheating on me!” Anger followed, remembering Sana’s promises. I faced her, “ _ You _ solemnly  _ vowed _ through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, to love and to hold,  _ even temptation cometh _ , till death do us part  _ you _ will remain  _ faithful _ to me—to us. You vowed, Sana! You fucking vowed!” 

“You made me the happiest girl in the world—blessed. I have everything, we have everything, Tzuyu. We were  _ partners _ , you have my back and I have yours. Then… you became a writer, everything changed since then. You were gone—the woman I married disappeared, but that didn’t make me not love you. I… I saw the woman I married in someone else, the woman I called as my partner—I saw it in someone else. I’m sorry. I just… I don’t know what gotten into me and fell in love with another because I missed the person who can never be back.” 

“You… you decided to cheat on me because you saw  _ me _ in that innocent girl? Sana, did you even look at yourself? Did you take a moment and thought about  _ maybe it isn’t my wife but me _ kind of shit?” 

“I… didn’t. I’m selfish…” She is close to me, but I couldn’t bring myself to push her away. 

“I am  _ indeed _ your partner. I don’t want to invalidate our professions because I know both of our works are not a joke. We are both tired every fucking day, Sana—every fucking day! Whenever you go home after a tiring day at work and you continue that shit in your office, I would always check on you to see if you fell asleep because you tend to do so almost every fucking day! While you slept, I work on your responsibilities—that happens most of the time. I, too, am tired, Sana, but I am your wife—and as your wife, I am your partner in life! I help take care of everything so that it will be easy for the both of us, but you… you—” I released a scream. Sana held me tight. “Why… didn’t you tell me what you were feeling this whole time? We could’ve fixed it—goddamit!  _ Why didn’t you just kill me, Sana? Why didn’t you just fucking kill me?! _ ” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. She’s gone, she’s no longer in my life, Tzuyu. Let’s start over, let’s begin again please. I don’t… I really don’t like to see you cry—it’s torturing me. Please, honey, _ I love you _ .” 

_ Start…over? Sana… are you fucking joking? _

I pushed her away from me. I feel disgusted – her touch disgusts me. “You don’t like to see me cry but you are hurting me this way?” I tried not to cry, but my damn eyes just won’t listen. “ _ You love me yet you chose to crush me…? _ ” 

I threw an envelope to her chest. My tears stopped, the pain is still here but the sadness and the frustration – they’re gone. I am sick and tired of crying; I am tired of stressing out as to why Sana broke me. I am done. I had enough. “I had the papers prepared when I had my suspicion.” 

I saw the fear on Sana’s face when she saw the contents of the envelope. She begged, but I just can’t let her enter my life anymore. 

“ _ I loved you. _ I can’t continue this marriage, Sana. I want a divorce.” I turned my back and left her sobbing in her office. 

The sky is crying alongside with me. I didn’t bring anything with me – just me alone. I walked under the rain to the person who I can run to right now since I have no one else. 

I pressed on the doorbell. A girl opened the gate for me. 

I sobbed again, but I doubt she knows it since my tears went along with the raindrops. I forced a smile, “She’s… Sana’s the person I run to when I’m sad and hurt.” I bit my lip to stop myself from bawling. “But right now, she’s the reason why I am sad, and I can’t run to her anymore.” 

“Tzuyu… let’s get you inside.” 

I couldn’t move, I am frozen – my nerves won’t respond to me. “Mina…” I noticed that she was crying with me. “She told me she loves me, but she is breaking me. Is that even… possible?” 

Mina held me tight. “ _ It’s impossible for one to love another if they will cheat on them. _ That’s not how love works…” 

[To be continued: Infidelity] 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the delay! i spent the whole Wednesday celebrating my graduation hahaa


	4. Infidelity

TRIGGER WARNING. HEAVY SCENES AHEAD. YOU ARE WARNED.  


**Not everyone deserves a second chance – especially in marriage.** Once the glass of trust is bro1ken, apologies can never bring it back. Doubt will sink in and things will never be the same.

If you love someone, you will accept their flaws, and forgive their mistakes, but what if the person you love broke your heart by cheating on you – by breaking your trust – will you forgive them? Just how can one person easily let go of someone they love?

Tzuyu has been staying in Mina’s place for a week since the accident. She didn’t bring anything from her – not her phone, clothes nor wallet. Mina knew her friend is going through a rough path, hence, she is willing to take of her. Although she felt like she is to blame, Momo assured her that it wasn’t her fault, after all she had no idea Tzuyu was the wife of her previous boss.

Mina went out of the guest room while carrying a ray of untouched food.

“No lunch again today?” Momo asked, who was leaning on the wall beside the door. Mina shook her head as a reply. “Dinner only, huh? Your fave author needs to stop neglecting herself like this. How is she? Most of all, how are you? You’ve been taking care of the wife of your ex-boss. Who knows maybe she has a grudge on you and one day she’ll stab you or something.”

Mina replied, “Why do you sound like Tzuyu is a bad person, Momo? I may not know Tzuyu like how Sana knows her but I believe our friend is not like what you said. You said it before—that it’s not my fault, and I am certain Tzuyu knows that too. If she has a grudge on me, then why did she run to me, right? She needs… a friend, and I am willing to be that friend.”

Momo sighed. “So, what now? She’s talking, right?”

Mina walked to the kitchen, and Momo followed. “Yeah. I told her she can stay as long as she wants, though I doubt I have more spare clothes left for her. She also said she needs to get some of her clothes from her house and her phone, wallet, passport and the likes.”

“So she’s going to stay here in your place now? Like, a roommate?”

“You have the time to be jealous?”

“No. I am not jealous. I am just asking, Minari. I’m her friend too you know. I know a place where she can stay for the mean time. It’s a good apartment near here and—” 

Mina placed the plates on the sink. “She doesn’t need a place, Momo.” She faced the latter. “She needs us—her friends.”

Momo didn’t reply. She only gave Mina a smile and nodded.

“I never heard anything from Sana, and even though she broke Tzuyu’s heart I can hear her call out her name whenever she’s asleep.” Mina looked away. “She’s really in love with her and it’s just sad to know that Sana broke someone who is undeniably in love with her.”

Momo grabbed the keys in her pocket. “You said Tzuyu needs her stuff, right? Give me the address, I’ll get it for her. I also wanted to see how her stupid wife’s been doing. Don’t worry, I won't punch her on the face like last time, Minari.”

—Right after Tzuyu went to Mina’s place, Sana was left alone in the house – crying whilst simultaneously praying for forgiveness to God and praying that her wife will return to her. She felt pain – unending and tormenting pain. Crazy it may sound but she thought of going to Mina – the person she thinks who would listen to her problems.

_However, the truth surprised her._

Drenched under the rain, Sana rang the doorbell and Mina greeted her by the gate. “ _S-Sana?_ ” Mina stammered. “ _W-What are you doing here?_ ”

Sana averted her eyes from the ground to meet Mina’s gaze. “ _Mina…_ ”

“ _You should leave._ ”

“ _No. Please. I don’t know who run to._ ” Sana lowered her head, “ _My wife left me._ ”

“ _I am sorry to hear that, but I am not the right person for you to talk to about this right now. I am asking you to leave before things—_ ”

A voice followed, “ _You…_ ” their heads turned to the person who spoke – Tzuyu stood behind a meter away from Mina with Momo behind her. “ _Y-You have the audacity to come running to Mina after what happened?_ ” Before, Mina saw the pain and the lament in Tzuyu’s eyes, now she saw rage and scorn. “ _You have the audacity to come to her, Sana!?_ ”

Surprised, Sana took a few minutes to speak – rather, ask, “ _W-Wait, why are you here?_ ” She faced Mina, “ _You know her?_ ”

Mina replied, “ _I do. We met a few months ago. Also, yes I am aware that she is the author of the book that I love. For short, your wife is my friend. Now, I don’t want things to go rough so I am begging you right now to please leave, Sana. You've hurt Tzuyu enough._ ”

Before Mina can close the door, Sana stopped it. “ _Please! Let me just talk to her even just for a minute, please! Please, Mina._ ” She begged.

“ _No._ ”

“ _Please. I will give anything that you want just please give me this chance. This will be the last time, please even just a minute or a few seconds. Just let me talk to my wife._ ”

“ _Your wife doesn’t want to talk to you. If you love her, respect her decision, Sana._ ”

Sana knew she couldn’t convince Mina, thus, she did the unthinkable. She forced herself to pass the gate – pushing through Mina.

Momo couldn’t contain herself. She pushed Sana away from Mina, grabbed her by the collar, and then gave the latter a punch on the face. “ _Wake the fuck up!_ ” Momo shouted. Tzuyu and Mina were left surprised. Momo was never the type to let herself be driven by her emotions, but she just gave Sana a powerful punch that the latter fell on the floor. “ _Your wife, the person who loved you the most, doesn’t want to talk to you! Can’t you see?! Can’t you fucking see it?! The pain and the rage in her eyes when she saw you?!_ ”

“ _Momo, that’s enough._ ” Said Mina, but Momo didn’t listen.

Sana turned her attention to Tzuyu – she saw the painful and scornful eyes of her wife. It broke her even more. She can no longer see the light that she used to love, the love that she cherished, the beautiful eyes that she swore to protect – it’s gone.

Momo continued, “ _I have no rights, Sana. We don’t even know each other, but for the love of God—don’t ever come near my girlfriend and Tzuyu. You won’t just receive a punch from me, you will be meeting handcuffs._ ” Momo showed her police badge. “ _Now, get out of here before I drive you to the station, and blotter you for invading someone else's home._ ”

—Mina giggled, “Make sure not to hurt her again. I’ll ask Tzuyu for the address.” She turned her back to go back to her friend’s room.

After Momo got the address, she drove to her friend’s place.

While Tzuyu is under the comfort of her friends, Sana’s left with a cold house – only the empty cold house and her bottles of beer comforting her. She couldn’t bring herself to work, she couldn’t bring herself to be productive. All she had in mind is Tzuyu and Tzuyu alone.

Sana looked wasted and sullen. Sitting on the living room floor with a bottle of beer on her hand, she cried once more. There are empty beer bottles and cans on the living room table (some rolling on the floor). Her white button-up is wrinkled, her hair is a mess and a bit greasy due to the fact she hasn’t taken a shower for days. The colour of her lips went dull and there are bags under her eyes. She looked worthless – an aftermath of her desolation.

_She will be back. Tzuyu will be back._ Sana thought. _Wait… no… she hates me, right? So, that means she won’t, right? Right, she won’t because I broke her heart. Why did I break her heart? Why did I do that? I am at fault. Because of me… my wife hates me, Tzuyu left me._

A tear rolled down from Sana’s lifeless eyes.

_It is all because of me._ Sana muttered, “T-Tzuyu…” another tear dropped. _Wait, why is it my fault again? Is it just me who is at fault? I don’t think so. Right, Tzuyu has her own fault too. If she didn’t pursue being a writer, I wouldn’t have cheated on her. If she remained to be the wife that I loved, I wouldn’t do such thing. Right, it’s not my fault._

Realizing what she was thinking, Sana clenched the bottle she’s holding and threw it to the wall. She screamed, “No! No! What the fuck are you thinking, Sana?!” She threw the remaining bottles next, until nothing is left. “Don’t blame your wife… you fucking idiot!”

She heard the doorbell ring. “Tzuyu?” She said, her head turning to the door in speed. She hastily ran to the door and unlocked the security to open it, “Tzu—oh, it’s you…” To her dismay, Momo met her by the door. The latter is on her guard – her hands in her pockets, yet her eyes are sternly looking at Sana’s.

“Your _wife_ wants to get her things.” Momo bluntly said.

“Oh…”

There was a short moment of awkward silence. Momo saw that the latter was in the verge of breaking into tears. She also noticed Sana’s pathetic state – messy and greasy hair, wrinkled clothes, baggy eyes, dull lips.

“So, uh, can I come in?” Momo asked, breaking the awkward tension.

Sana nodded her head. “Y-Yeah.” She moved to the side so that Momo can enter. Momo entered the house. She saw the empty beer cans and the bottle shards on the floor. Sana caught Momo staring at her mess. She said, “Uh… a burglar came in last night so… I threw bottles… at him.”

Momo knew it was a lie. Just by observing the latter, she’s no different from Tzuyu when it comes to hiding what she feels – although, Sana has a bad way of doing it.

“Right…”

Sana went to the stairs, “Come. I’ll help you pack her things. Our walk-in closet is upstairs.”

Sana helped Momo pack her wife’s things. Although it breaks her, she couldn’t go against her wife’s wishes. Momo’s punch woke her up from her desperation, she knew Tzuyu needs time and that her wife doesn’t need her.

“So, you’re Mina’s lover?” Sana asked, while in the middle of packing. “Since when?”

“When your wife found out about you cheating on her. Mina said yes to me.” Momo answered. “She’s a childhood friend and I’ve been pursuing her since high school. It was a bad timing when she accepted my confession though—your wife came crying. Not that I am mad or anything. Mina and I care for Tzuyu.”

Sana didn’t reply.

After packing, Sana led Momo to the door.

“Sana,” Momo turned her back to face her, “I am not in the position to say this but someone has to, ya’know? Look, your wife loves you—even after what you did. She’s still in love with you. However, she couldn’t bring herself to face you right now. Give her time. Don’t force yourself to her. When the time is right, she’ll come to you and reconcile (hopefully).”

Only then, the emotions Sana kept in her formed into tears. “I’m a fucking idiot…” she mumbled. “I broke my wife’s heart…”

Momo added before leaving, “Fix yourself, Sana. Your wife is healing on her own, help her out by fixing yourself. She may not say it to me or Mina but she doesn’t want you to neglect yourself, because if you do she’ll neglect herself as well. So, please, fix yourself starting by… taking a bath and cleaning the bottles you threw to the wall.”

When Momo left, her words sunk deep in Sana’s head. She cried for a short while before gaining back her composure. She took a deep breath and exhaled while wiping her tears. _Momo is right, I need to fix myself._ Sana thought. She started by cleaning her mess in the living room, then took a bath before reporting her return to the company.

When Momo came back, she told Mina about what she saw which Tzuyu accidentally heard their conversation. Hearing that her wife is punishing herself, she felt like she is responsible for it.

“Mina,” Tzuyu appeared. “I overheard your conversation.”

Mina said, “It’s fine. Tzuyu, it’s not your fault why Sana is treating herself like that.”

Tzuyu only smiled. “She’s still like a kid.” She forced a chuckle, “That’s my wife, alright.”

“Tzuyu…”

“I decided to stay to one of my luxury apartments to… think and reflect. I really appreciate that you let me stay here for a bit, Mina.”

Mina smiled and hugged her friend. “What are friends for? If you need someone, Momo and I will always be here.”

Tzuyu hugged her friend back, but tighter. “Thank you. Thank you.” She sobbed for a bit. “I hope you don’t mind that my last book’s publication will be on a hiatus.”

“Silly you—heal first, Tzuyu. The book can wait. I can wait.”

Tzuyu left the next day. The news about the book’s publication caused speculation within Tzuyu’s readers. News about her marriage went out to the public which others assume to be the reason why the book’s publication is on hold. Loyal fans denied the news about the marriage, while others couldn’t help but spread their thoughts and opinions about it.

Sana is back in the office and showered herself with work to distract the thoughts. However, when she comes home, she couldn’t help but cry. She still has the divorce papers with her, and she doesn’t have any plans to sign them – after all, despite what she did, she couldn’t live without Tzuyu (her best friend, her partner, her wife). She plans to have her back – she is willing to change.

3 months have passed. Tzuyu spent her time meditating, asking for professional help, and did activities that can help her cope and heal. The time wasn’t enough for her to fully heal, and she knew she wouldn’t completely heal if her wife won’t help her out – if they won’t talk everything out in peace.

Tzuyu took out her phone. She turned the power on and dialled a number. After two rings, the person from the other line answered with a shaking hello. “Do you have time today?” Tzuyu asked.

“I-I… uh… yes. Yes. I-I have t-time.” The person replied.

“Let’s meet this afternoon. We need to talk.” She took a deep breath. She clenched her fist before continuing, “Meet me at the place where we had our first date, _Sana_.”

That afternoon, Sana rushed to a museum. She went inside and hastily looked for Tzuyu. It took her a minute to find her wife sitting on a bench while facing a huge painting. The painting is 6 feet high, 5 feet long – it’s a painting of two Filipinas who look like they are merely sitting beside each other while reading a book, but at a small part of the painting shows the women are holding each other’s hands.

Sana gasped for air after her hasty search. _That bench… that painting._ She calmed herself down by taking a deep breath and slowly letting the air out of her mouth, before approaching the latter. She sat next to Tzuyu without saying anything, thinking that the latter should speak first.

Silence. No one spoke between the two. Sana didn’t mind – she felt at ease just by sitting next to Tzuyu. It’s like back when they were still teenage students helplessly in love with each other.

_How are you? Are you eating well? What have you been doing these past three months? Do you sleep well or do you still stay up late to write? Are you taking care of yourself? Are you living alone or do you still stay with Mina?_ Sana clenched her fist. She wanted to ask those questions to Tzuyu, but she couldn’t bring herself to say the words.

Sana is scared. She’s scared to speak. She felt like speaking will break her wife, and she doesn’t want that to happen again. She doesn’t want to see Tzuyu cry again – it’s her nightmare.

“Mina and Momo went to Japan.” Tzuyu spoke, her eyes still stuck on the painting in front of them. “It was time for Mina to meet Momo’s parents. I lived in one of my luxury apartments for 3 months now. They’re still checking on me from time to time—they’re good people.”

“I see. I am happy for them, and for you.” Sana said.

“The company seems to be doing well.”

“Yes. More investors are coming in. I haven’t heard from your book. Is everything okay?”

Tzuyu opened her mouth, _I can’t have it publish yet. This story isn’t done yet._ That’s what she wanted to say, but the words came out was, “I need time to heal.” She smiled faintly with a short scoff, “I don’t want to meet my readers with heavy and annoying emotions in my chest.”

Another silence followed.

“This is where we went on our first date. Same place, same bench, same painting.” Tzuyu added.

“Right. We skipped afternoon classes for the date. It was exams the next day and decided to go home afterwards, but we had so much fun back then to the point we forgot to go home early to study.”

Tzuyu gave a minute of silence before deciding to go straight to the point. “I want you to answer me honestly, Sana. I am sick and tired of lies so I am begging you to please, answer me— _honestly_.” She faced Sana, “After months since I found about your… betrayal… I still couldn’t understand as to why—why did you do it? Why did you cheat on me—your wife? Tell me, Minatozaki Sana.”

Sana answered, “I was a selfish bitch who forgot what it means to be satisfied.” She faced Tzuyu, “We were partners in everything, Tzuyu. We have each other’s back, we were both satisfied just by being with each other. However, when you decided to pursue writing (leaving me in the company) I don’t know why I felt betrayed. Maybe because I felt like you don’t want to do things with me anymore? Or, I’m simply one damn idiot. I didn’t realize the emotion I felt back was selfishness. The bitter taste in my mouth, the annoying and piercing emotion in my chest were selfishness and toxicity growing. I wanted to put a barricade and chains around you, I want you stay with me and stay as you are. I was a fool for being blind and allowing myself to feel unsatisfied. I shouldn’t feel bad when you decided to reach your dream, I should be supporting you—but instead I cheated on you with an innocent secretary just because you decided to take a different path.”

Tzuyu didn’t speak. She faced the painting – removing her eye connection with Sana.

The latter averted her gaze back to the painting. “Since I was blinded, my eyes were blinded to see the light in your eyes. I forgot the light and the joy I used to see in you. I saw those things in Mina which drove me to develop an attraction to her—I saw a part of you in her. Then I could no longer control myself, I liked her already. However, please believe me if I say that I really did and fully loved you despite that. I liked Mina, but I love you—and I still do. I’m a fool for not fighting the temptation, I’m a coward. I broke my vows—the vows that I said in front of the altar.”

Sana grabbed Tzuyu’s hands and held them tight. Tzuyu faced her, she saw her wife’s in the verge of breaking into tears. “I’m so sorry, Chou Tzuyu. I’ve been a bad wife, I became someone who hurt you badly. My infidelity broke us. I’m so sorry.” She sobbed. She kissed the knuckles of her wife and rested her forehead on it, “I’m so sorry. I really am. Forgive me, please. I don’t want to lose you, I can’t. God can take everything away from me right now but not you. Tzuyu, I cannot bare it anymore. My heart continues to ache every single day, every time I breathe. Please give me another chance to fix this—let’s fix this please. Let me prove to you that I change—that I regret it. I want to be with you, I don’t want us to separate—it will kill me.”

Tzuyu couldn’t help but shed a tear. She replied, “Okay.” Sana raised her head. Tzuyu closed her eyes and a tear fell. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, “Okay, Sana. Let’s fix this. I’ll give you one _final_ chance. However, I hope you will understand if I will make a decision at the end whether should I continue to be your wife, or I want things to end between us, Minatozaki Sana.”

Sana smiled, “I promise you, you won't regret giving me this chance. I will make things count.”

Tzuyu returned to their house. Sana knew her wife needs to adjust, so she took the chance to give a gap between her and Tzuyu on the bed by adding pillows between them. Knowing her wife, it will be a slow process, but she is willing to wait.

Everything went on for 6 months.

Before, Tzuyu’s the one doing most of the house work, but now that Sana is trying to fix their marriage, she tries her best to win her wife back and take good care for her while managing their company. Sana will cook breakfast for Tzuyu in the morning, she will come home for lunch, and she will finish her work in advance to go home early. It’s too much for her to take, but she will do it to prove to her wife that she is willing to do anything for them.

Tzuyu and Sana would spend time together by reading books or watch movies in their living room. Sometimes they go out and eat in restaurants. They even go to trips once a month. There are times Tzuyu went with Sana in the company – and Tzuyu would help her wife with office work, just like what they used to do back then. However, despite Sana doing those things, Tzuyu is still doubtful – if not, unconvinced. But she won’t lie, she appreciates everything Sana is doing, still she couldn’t bring herself to trust her again.

“Good morning!” Sana greeted with a smile when she saw Tzuyu standing by the dining area. She placed the finished dish on the table, “I made one of your favourites—sweet and sour buttered shrimp, _but_ this time I added it with lemon citrus and slices.”

Tzuyu smiled faintly, “Thank you.” She sat on her chair and began to eat after saying her prayers.

_Ah, another faint smile._ Sana thought. _It’s always that smile ever since she came back. She still has doubts, I see—but that is fine. She is smiling, that’s still progress._

Everything is not all colours and rainbows, though. There are times when they would constantly fight due to Tzuyu’s suspicion and paranoia.

“Where have you been?!” Tzuyu shouted at Sana who just came home. “You would usually come home before 10 pm. It’s 12:15 in the damn morning, Sana ! Where the hell have you been?! You’re with your bitch, right?! Right?! You had dinner with her, right?! Or, maybe you went to some motel or a luxury hotel and—”

“What? No! It’s traffic in traffic with Jihyo (who asked me to drop her off to her place) so I—” Sana couldn’t finish her sentence when a shoe flew towards her – luckily she dodged it.

“Liar. Liar. Liar! Liar!” Tzuyu punched Sana’s shoulders – throwing out her anger. “Get out! Get out of the house! You don’t change! You never change! You’re cheating on me again!”

Tzuyu pushed Sana out of the house. She slammed the door shut and locked it. Sana is tired from work and doesn’t want to argue with her wife. She can hear Tzuyu’s wailing behind the door – it’s breaking her.

“Tzuyu… I wasn’t with another woman…” Sana said. She heard no response. “I love you, Tzuyu. Please stop crying, it’s breaking my heart.” She released a sigh and sat on the marbled stairs. “Seems like I’ll sleep in the car for tonight.”

The next day, Tzuyu invited Sana inside the house. She saw the dining table was filled with food. Tzuyu said, “I’m sorry for reacting too much last night. Jihyo called me this morning. She told me about what really happened. You were right, you weren’t lying. I’m so sorry. I just… I really don’t know if I can still trust you, Sana. It’s hard…”

Sana smiled as a sign of relief. “It’s fine, honey. I understand. It’s fine if you are troubles, I am willing to wait and willing to help you out. I’ll take a bath first before eating, okay? I’ll take a leave from work today so that we can fix this misunderstanding, okay? You can also set up rules with me, like updating you every now and then, setting up my time to go home, and the likes so that you can be assured.”

Sometimes, when they try to be affectionate, Tzuyu couldn’t help but doubt herself. She doubts whether she was still good enough for Sana – hence, she would turn away and leave the latter hanging. It’s pretty much frustrating, but Sana doesn’t and wouldn’t want to force her wife on doing something without her full and sincere consent.

Sana did things that she thinks that will at least try and bring back the flare that was gone in their marriage. She tried everything to make Tzuyu happy again. Of course, Tzuyu knew her wife shouldn’t carrying everything alone, so she’s trying her best to help out as well. It was a slow and hard process, but Sana tried her best to be understanding especially whenever Tzuyu’s doubt and paranoia will attack her.

_However, Sana is human. Her patience, her understanding, and her control has limits._

It was in the middle of the night. Sana woke up when she heard Tzuyu’s scream. She saw that her wife was crying and shouting in her sleep. “Tzuyu! Tzuyu wake up!” Sana shouted. _Is she having a nightmare again? This is the 10th time this month._

Tzuyu woke up. She abruptly sat up – bawling out her cries. Sana hugged her tight while shushing her. “I’m here. I’m here, Tzuyu. I won’t leave. I’m here. You don’t need to be scared anymore.”

Suddenly, Tzuyu pushed her away. “Y-You will leave me… you will l-leave me… you’re going to leave me…” Tzuyu’s paranoia sunk in, this time it was deep and somewhat uncontrollable. “Y-You… you r-really won’t stop m-meeting your bitch. Y-You’re still meeting w-with that new b-bitch of yours! Who is it? Who is it, Sana!? Is it in the company, huh?! Answer me!”

Confused, Sana asked, “What are you talking about? I am not cheating on you, Tzuyu. You had a bad dream, honey.”

“Liar!” Tzuyu pushed Sana further away from her. Sana noticed her wife is shaking. She continued, “I-I know y-you’re lying. I-I noticed a lipstick mark on your c-collar the other day. T-Then… then two days ago I smelled another f-female perfume that I am not familiar with i-inside your car. A p-purse in your office d-drawer. L-Lastly, you go h-home late without telling m-me, sometimes with various e-excuse. You’re lying, Sana! You’re going to l-leave me! You’re going to b-break me again!” Tzuyu threw pillows at her wife, and other objects that she saw near her.

Sana held both of Tzuyu’s hands to restrain her but the latter struggled. “Calm down, Tzuyu! I am not seeing another woman!”

“Let go of me! Don’t come near me! I shouldn’t have come back! You liar!”

“Chou Tzuyu!” Sana shouted. She removed her grip from her wife and released a loud scream while her hands covered her eyes. Sana’s scream surprised the latter which caused her to stop.

Tears. Tzuyu saw tears when Sana removed her hands – it surprised her. Sana continued, “Stop it! Just fucking stop, Tzuyu! I am not cheating on you! I am not seeing another woman! For the love of god, Chou Tzuyu, I am fucking tired! I try my damn best to assure you, to make you feel at ease, to fucking fix our marriage but—” Sana groaned since she couldn’t dare to continue, “—I am tired, okay?”

Tzuyu went silent, she doesn’t know what to say.

Sana was now the one who is trembling. “How many times must I tell you, assure you, that I am not fucking seeing anyone but you—my wife, huh?! I am tired, Tzuyu. I am fucking tired!”

“Then—”

“Yet I can’t give up…” Sana lowered her head. She gasped between her sobs. She shook her head, “I can’t give up. I just can’t because I love you—because I want to fix this marriage. However, I cannot be the only one who can fix this, honey. I can’t do this alone. I know you are fixing this marriage in your own way but I am tired doing most of the work. I am tired assuring you that I am seeing no one. I am tired with the constant reminders. I am tired! I gave you access to my phone, my schedule, I let you control everything since I thought, hope, and wish it will assure you. I understand as to why you doubt me, why your paranoia sinks in. I’ve been patient and I controlled myself and pushed through my limits because I want this to work—I want to fix our marriage. But none of them seems to be working since you’re still acting… like this! I am tired, Tzuyu. I am so fucking tired!”

The purse was supposed to be my gift to you once you publish your book. The lipstick smear came from me since I was checking lipstick shades _fitting_ for you and I happen to wipe the colour on my attire. The perfume was the one I bought _for you_ two days ago, but it was spilled in the car because of Jihyo meddling with it. I go home late because I want to finish all the work I have back in the office so that I can have more free time to spend with you during my days to work! I make a lot of excuses because I was planning a surprise for you, I am meeting up with the organizers and planners because I plan to propose to you all over again, to renew our marriage! All of those were for you!” Sana kept sobbing. “I am tired, Tzuyu… help me out here, please? I cannot do this without the help of my partner…”

Tzuyu opened her mouth, but then closed it. She bit her lip and clenched her fist. She couldn’t say anything. She knows it’s her fault and she wants to say sorry, but her pride won’t let her.

Sana stood up, carrying her pillow. “I’ll sleep on the sofa tonight.” She said, walking to the door. “Let’s give each other some space to clear our heads.”

Morning came. San went up to their room and saw Tzuyu is still asleep. She cooked breakfast for them, but still her wife hasn’t come down. She decided to bring her breakfast to their room. On her way to the stairs, she noticed two envelope letters on the floor. She picked it up and it was from Mina.

“Honey, I brought breakfast.” Sana said, coming in their room. Tzuyu’s back is against her. Sana continued, “I’m sorry about last night.”

Tzuyu replied, “I’m not in the mood to eat. Just leave it on the table. I want to rest.”

Sana sighed. “Okay…”

“Also, a letter came from Mina. I’ll leave it next to your tray, okay?” Tzuyu didn’t reply. “She also sent a letter to me, but I didn’t read it. I’ll leave it next to yours as well, and you can read it if you want.” Still no answer. “I’ll… I’ll get ready for work…”

In the office, Sana couldn’t focus. She decided to give herself a break and go out for a drive. She drove around the city – with no specific destination – to divert herself from her thoughts.

Then she decided to waste time in a nearby café. She sat on a chair near the window. She saw couples, teenagers, students, and office workers pass by. She couldn’t help but sigh every after five minutes. At the end, she couldn’t help but cry. She was tired and hopeless. She is eager to fix her marriage since she can no longer stand with fighting her wife.

_This is all your fault, Minatozaki Sana. If you didn’t cheat, this wouldn’t happen._ Sana said to herself.

A plate was suddenly placed on her table – a cheesecake with a thick whipped cream and strawberry on top, a note made in syrup on the plate that said " _Everything Will Be Alright. Smile._ "

“Care for a cheesecake?” A girl spoke. Her voice is familiar to Sana of course. Sana couldn’t help but smile. The person sat on the opposite chair, “You’re just _like_ your wife.”

Sana faced her. “Maybe.”

“It’s been a while, Sana.”

Sana smiled, “Welcome home,” a tear fell from her left eye, “ _Mina_.”

Sana and Mina talked about the latter’s marriage. Mina listened attentively. She can see how sincere Sana was and she knows that she’s telling the truth despite she’s away from the country for 6 months. She didn’t speak nor disrupt Sana from telling her story – she wanted to hear her side.

“I see.” Mina sighed, “I’m sorry if I cannot help you, nor say the right words for this, Sana. I’m not the type to give out advices—I’m just a listener.”

“It’s fine, Mina. You are helping me by listening since I have no one to tell much about this. The weight in my chest is gone, so thank you. Plus, your cheesecake helped.”

Sana spent the whole day in the café with Mina. The two caught up with each other and had some laughs while they’re at it. When it was time for Sana to leave, Mina gave her a box of cheesecake.

Mina said, “Here. Take this. Give it to, Tzuyu. It will make her smile, trust me.”

“How can you be so sure?” .

“Hello? She’s my favourite author and I happen to be her friend too.” She giggled. “Plus, cheesecakes lifts up her mood.”

“Funny. Tzuyu is my wife but I don’t know that cheesecakes make her feel better…”

“What are you waiting for? Go home to her, geez. Once you arrive, she’ll greet you with a smile. You told her what you feel, and you gave each other time. Like I said on your plate, _everything will be fine—smile_.”

Indeed, Mina was right. When Sana came home, Tzuyu greeted her with a smile – the smile that Sana missed, the smile she wanted to see. It brought her into tears which drove her to hug Tzuyu tight. Both of them eventually cried while saying their apologies.

Slowly, things slowly went back to normal in a week. Mina and Tzuyu met, and even spent time with Sana. Tzuyu is back to writing and decided to revise her book one last time before publishing it. Sana and Tzuyu can be affectionate with each other, and slowly Tzuyu’s doubt and paranoia disappears. Although, Tzuyu still cries at night sometime (which alarms the latter), but still it was progress.

The change was quick that Sana couldn’t believe how fast the situation escalated.

“Sana.” Tzuyu’s voice whispered. “Sana, wake up.”

Sana woke up from her sleep. She saw Tzuyu’ eyes that made her smile. It's what she wanted – to see her wife the moment she wakes up. “Good morning, honey.” Sana greeted.

Tzuyu gave her wife a kiss on the lips. “Good morning to you too. Now, get up!” She tickled her wife. Sana fought off her wife and gave her a playful headlock to stop her. “Okay, okay, okay, I give! I give!”

Sana removed her arms from her wife. She turned her head to see the time: 7:30 AM. “Why so early, Tzuyu? I’m on leave today and I don’t think I planned anything.”

Tzuyu smiled. “Change into your best attire and go downstairs. I’ll wait for you!”

Sana did what her wife told her to do. After changing into a beautiful floral dress, she went downstairs. She saw her wife at the dining area. Tzuyu wore a plain red dress, her hair is curled, and she saw that her wife is wearing their wedding ring again and had her engagement ring hang around her neck. The dining area is surrounded by rose petals, scented candles, and there are food on the table and a bottle of wine.

“Okay?” Sana raised an eyebrow, confused. “What’s going on?”

“A celebration. I want it to celebrate it now instead of later _._ ” Tzuyu answered. “I secretly sent my final manuscript for Abyss: The Fall last week, _and_ today is its official release to bookstores _worldwide_! Now, the book that I gave you, finally has a written ending.”

“That’s great, Tzuyu!” Sana gave her wife a hug and a kiss. “I’m so proud of you. I can’t wait to read it.”

The two ate to celebrate. Afterwards, they head off back to their room and things escalated quickly. After the recent incidents, Sana finds it traumatizing to see Tzuyu cry or even just a shed of tear – it horrifies her.

“Tzuyu?” Sana questioned, seeing a tear fall from Tzuyu’s eyes while she’s kissing her.

Tzuyu couldn’t help but cry while facing Sana. She touched the latter’s face, “I love you so much, Minatozaki Sana. I really do.”

Sana smiled. She held her wife’s hand, “And I do too. I love you more.” She kissed Tzuyu again.

The two eventually slept. It was 3 in the afternoon when Tzuyu woke Sana up, “Sana, can you go and run an errand?”

“What is it, honey?”

“Can you go over to the main bookstore and get me one of my books?”

“Huh? Why? Don’t authors usually have their own physical copy?”

“Yeah. My copy is in the store. Can you get it for me? And please make it fast.”

“Sure. Let me change my clothes first. I don’t wanna go out naked, ya’know?”

Sana drove to the mall where the main bookstore that sponsors and publishes Tzuyu’s books is located. The whole mall is packed with her wife’s readers. A long line even reached outside the mall’s entrance. Since Sana is Tzuyu’s wife and is known by the editor and the bookstore staffs, they let her in without lining up. Even the readers know Sana is the author’s wife. They asked her various question about the author, but Sana’s answer can only be limited.

The editor gave Sana the author’s copy of the book. “Your wife never fails to break our hearts, Mrs. Minatozaki. She has an amazing talent.”

“Oh, she made an angsty one again?” Sana chuckled. “That’s my wife alright. I can’t wait to read this. Thanks!”

When Sana got out of the bookstore she happens to cross two readers who got their books. She overheard their conversation, “This book is dedicated to the author’s wife. I saw her in the bookstore a while ago.” Said one.

Another added, “Yeah. I can’t believe that was the ending! After so long, this is what we get? I love it at the same time, I don’t know, my feelings are mixed. Oh well, Grace is my favourite character so the ending is fine I guess.”

Sana felt goosebumps, but brushed it off. She went back to her car. There she met a reader who was parked next to her.

“You’re Miss Minatozaki Sana, right? Your wife is lucky to have you, Miss.” Said the reader. “But, oh well, that was the ending of the story. The unfaithful spouse’s the one at fault anyway.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re the wife, ain’t ya? Shouldn’t you know the _amazing_ ending of your wife’s book? Why don’t you read it, you have one with you.” The reader then went inside the car and drove away.

Sana felt weird. Her guts told her to read the book. She decided to follow the feeling. She ripped off the plastic cover and opened the page. The foreword was dedicated to her—

_Abyss series is about a wife who did nothing but love and care for her spouse. It is inspired by a real life event. Hence, this book is dedicated to my beautiful and loveable wife—Sana—and our marriage._

_Sana, last time I told you back in the museum about understanding my decision once I chose one. Well, here is my answer—my answer is in this book._

_I love you, Sana. I really do. Forgive me._

Sana’s heart burn out of nervousness. She felt uneasy after reading the last line. She scanned the book – not bothering to read it. She hastily went to the last chapter of the book and read what was stated – it horrified her. She hastily went inside her car and sped up back to her house – hoping to catch up on Tzuyu.

_Tzuyu. Tzuyu. Tzuyu!_ Sana kept speeding up. “Goddammit!” She picked up her phone and dialled Momo’s number.

“Hello~ Momo speaking. Zup, Sana?”

“Where are you?! Have your read Tzuyu’s new book?! Is Mina with you?! Is she there?!”

“I’m home. Woman, I’m not into books, but I have a copy of Tzuyu’s—I gotta read it. I’m skipping to the last part of Abyss: The Fall since Tzuyu told me a while ago. Also, Mina’s not here she said she’s going to leave for a b—”

“Fuck! Meet me at my house. _Now_!” Sana then ended the call. “Goddammit! Please, don’t take her away from me!”

_Loyalty’s whole world turned into ash, and was blown away by the wind. She loved Faith with all her heart and soul – she gave up everything and sacrificed a lot for her husband, but Faith chose to destroy her by placing his love and attention to Grace. Grace knew about Faith’s infidelity which caused Loyalty to fall deep into the Abyss. Grace never loved Faith, she never did, after all, she was in love with Loyalty._

_To save the person she loves from the Abyss, Grace went to Loyalty in order to help her – to save her from her struggle. She saw the helpless Loyalty sobbing beside the lake. She asked, "Why are you crying? Humans lose their beauty when tears of sinking emotions come out of their eyes. You don’t deserve this, my precious Loyalty."_

_Loyalty answered, "I am suffering, Grace. Why do I feel like the ground is pulling me towards it—like I might collapse? My chest is heavy. No. My heart is heavy. It aches like needles piercing through it every time I breathe. It’s tiresome—rather, it’s torturing me. I want it to go away."_

_Grace felt her own heart breaking. "Then, let me help you. Would you like to run away with me, my love?" Loyalty stopped crying. "Your husband may be in love with me, but I do not for my heart is bounded to someone else—" Grace wipe the tears of her beloved. She cupped the latter’s face and continued, "—someone whose smile is as radiant as the rising sun, whose eyes glitter like the stars at night, whose whole being was like… specially made by the Almighty above. You, Loyalty, my angel heart is bounded to you—a human."_

Sana pressed on the car horn. “Move it!” She shouted at the car in front of her – as if the driver will hear her inside her car. She is on a race with time. Her anxiety filled heart felt like it will burst any minute. It’s pounding rapidly, it felt hot, and alarming. “Fuck! Please, oh God, let me be there on time!” She kept calling Tzuyu’s phone but her wife is not picking up.

_Loyalty questioned, "Can you remove the pain?"_

_Grace gave Loyalty a smile – a smile so sweet that one can taste a sweet taste in their mouth. "For you, my love? I can and I will. Only if… you are willing to come with me?" Grace held her palm wide open to Loyalty. "No more pain, no more tears, no more doubts. Just peace, bliss, and love. Will you come with me to such paradise?"_

Sana arrived to their house. She didn’t bother putting her car in the garage, let alone lock its doors. She rushed inside and called out for Tzuyu’s name, “Tzuyu? Tzuyu?” She checked the kitchen and no one was there – the sink is still clean too although she perfectly remembers Tzuyu wasn’t able to clean them since they headed to their room after eating. Next, Sana went to their room, thinking Tzuyu must be asleep, but she saw no sign of her wife inside nor even in their bathroom.

_It intensified her fear._

“Tzuyu?!” Sana screamed. She dialled her wife’s phone and it was ringing in her office. She rushed to her office in the house and saw no one inside. Sana approached her table and saw a book under Tzuyu’s phone. It’s a copy of her wife’s book and was stopped on the page of the Foreword.

_I love you, Sana. I really do. Forgive me._ Sana read. _Fuck! Tzuyu, please!_

“Goddammit!” Sana cursed, punching her table. “Chou Tzuyu?!” She threw the book away and smashed all the equipment on the table.

“Please… don’t tell me…” Sana’s heart continued to thump. Then she forgot to check her wife’s belongings in their walk in closet.

Sana rushed out of her office and ran to the room opposite of their bedroom. The moment she opened the door, she fell on her knees. She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t believe it, but her eyes are not tricking her. She doesn’t know what to do but cry.

“T-Tzuyu…” Sana collapsed. She bit her trembling lips and clenched both of her hands to stop herself from bursting, but she did at the end. She kept screaming Tzuyu’s name.

_Loyalty smiled. Then, Loyalty placed her hand on Grace’s, "As long as I can find peace, and I can be with you, no matter where that is I want to go there, Grace. I want to go there with you."_

_Grace smiled and held on Loyalty’s hand tighter. "With me, Loyalty, I assure you can never feel pain anymore. You will only feel peace and love." Wings sprung out of Grace’s back. They levitated above the ground which caused Loyalty to be scared, but Grace held her tight – assuring her that everything will be fine. Loyalty felt Grace’s warm hand, making her to trust the angel._

_Loyalty will never feel pain, shed tears, and doubt now that she is heading to paradise with Grace—the Angel of Death._

_"I love you, Faith. I really do. Forgive me." Loyalty said._

Momo came rushing upstairs when she heard Sana’s wailings (there she saw Sana). Sana crawled inside the walk-in closet and held onto one of Tzuyu’s favourite coat. Momo doesn’t know what to say but Sana’s name, “S-Sana… w-what… what is…”

Sana held Tzuyu close to her. Terror, pain, and surprise can be seen on her face while she cried out the name of her beloved wife. She hugged her wife’s head – ignoring her bloody hand staining her clothing. Tzuyu’s blood covered the carpet of the walk-in closet. Her left wrist was cut with a blade that was seen on the ground, and there’s a slit on Tzuyu’s neck which caused her instant death and next to her is a knife that was still in her right hand.

Momo called the ambulance and the cops. Mina next and saw the scene. She eventually collapsed on the floor with a scream. She cried while screaming the moment she saw her friend’s lifeless body surrounded by blood. Momo doesn’t know what to do but hold her tight, while fighting herself to cry.

No words can truly define and describe Sana’s emotions, but one can see the regret, terror, and pain painted on her face. The person she loved, her best friend, her wife, her partner is now gone. No matter how many times she covers the slit on her wife’s neck, no matter what she think she can do to keep Tzuyu stay with her, she couldn’t bring her wife back to life.

Sana lost her _Loyalty_ , and she can no longer have her back.

** THE END **

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is Trashy-Authornim! This is a short SATZU series. This is originally a Seulrene fanfic but I converted it into MNL48 Sela x Abby (SeBy) fanfic, now I am converting it into TWICE SaTzu's.
> 
> I hope you will like this! THis only has 3 parts. I will publish the 2nd chapter on Wednesday and 3rd (last chapter) on Friday!


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